The Lucky Bracelet
by Mongie
Summary: COMPLETE: Being a humorous look at what was really happening during the Point of No Return and what should have happened during Down Once More.
1. In Which There Is Much Plummeting

**The Lucky Bracelet**

Being a Humorous Look at What Was Really Happening During the Point of No Return and What Should Have Happened During Down Once More

**Chapter One: In Which Jewelry Attacks and There Is Much Plummeting**

Christine sang her lines and waited in feigned anticipation for Piangi to make his appearance. Mon Dieu, how she hated singing this duet with him! He was such a slimy little man, and it made her feel…dirty. Damn the Phantom for writing this opera that brimmed with double entendres and then making her sing it with Piangi! She needed a _real_ man to sing it with!

Her eyes cut up to Box Five, where Raoul was sitting with a gendarme, totally focused on her. Christine snorted silently to herself and wished she could roll her eyes. No, Raoul didn't quite fit the bill either. For a while Christine had been dazzled by his boyish good looks, his easy charm, his money, his title, but his attractiveness had begun to pall. Compared to her Angel (aka the Phantom of the Opera), Raoul could only be described as…tame. Safe. Boring.

Bah, she had been singing this stupid song about passion plays, blooming buds, and racing blood a little too often. But it _did_ bring the Phantom to mind. Christine almost licked her lips at the thought. He was definitely more exciting than Raoul. Christine made a mental note to ditch Raoul once this farce was over with and get in touch with her Angel.

Where in Hades was Piangi? Christine shoved up the straps of her irritating costume and continued to pretend to be fascinated with her basket of roses, grinding her teeth. Couldn't the imbecile even remember his cues?

Finally his cloaked figure entered. Luckily, no one in the audience had noted the delay. But when he sang his first line, Christine about died from shock. That was definitely _not_ Piangi! It was the Phantom!

Shock kept her locked in place during the first part of his song. The idiot! Of all the arrogant things to do. To appear as the lead in his opera in order to kidnap the prima donna (for Christine had not the slightest doubt that that was why he was there) with half the Paris police force waiting to kill him! Christine vowed to kill him herself at the next opportunity for pulling a stunt like this.

Not that she didn't want to be kidnapped, but he had to go and make a spectacle of it. He could have waited; she would've gotten rid of Raoul and installed herself in his lair within a week. But nooooo. _He_ had to steal her in front of half of Paris!

She couldn't figure out why she liked him. Just because of his sexy voice, broad chest, strong arms, dark hair, gorgeous eyes, his tendency to pamper her and bring her gifts… Okay, so she did know why she liked him, but that was beside the point.

Suddenly he was behind her, singing into her ear. Her breath _whooshed_ out of her as his arm came around and caught her by the throat. The feel of his arms and his glorious voice almost made her faint. _This_ was how this song was meant to be sung!

She risked a glance up at Raoul. He looked both gleeful that the Phantom had revealed himself and livid that he was near her. How he could look both she didn't know, but he managed it. No doubt visions of sweeping in after the show and capturing the dreaded Phantom of the Opera were running through his head. The man really was too concerned with capturing the Phantom and not about her safety. At least they wouldn't risk shooting—Christine was too close for that, and Raoul had at least that much caution.

The Phantom released her neck and trailed his hand across her shoulder and down her arm, clutching her hand in his. Christine shivered at the sensation but, just when it couldn't get any better, her bracelet came unhooked and flopped down her wrist.

Christine cursed in her head. Something had to go and spoil this. _Come on Phantom, _she thought, _just grab it and drop it later. No one will notice._ But he continued to sing and somehow swept it back up over her wrist, managing to refasten it.

She blinked at him. How had he done that? She could barely get the thing hooked if that was the only thing she concentrated on, and then only if she held her mouth just right and got lucky! How did he manage to fasten it and still sound so seductive?

Then it was her turn to sing. Christine opened her mouth and sang, letting her passion show as it _never_ had with Piangi. As she sang, she carefully kept near him—well within bullet range. As they moved back towards the twin spiral staircases, Christine's blood ran cold. The script called for them to go up separate staircases. If Raoul had the bright idea to have the police shoot then…

Christine deliberately made her voice become low and passionate. She shrugged her shoulders so that _both_ straps of her dress fell off: double seductive power! At last the irritating things had a purpose. She was willing to bet that there wasn't a male in the theater that was looking at the Phantom and not at her.

They both reached the top of the steps. Christine wondered what to do now. Piangi was so much shorter than her that they had just held hands and sang to each other. The Phantom, however, had other ideas. As he grasped her hand he spun her around and back into his chest. The final verse crested over them like a tidal wave, and when it was over Christine could only stand there locked in his arms, she was so overcome.

It took her a few seconds to realize that he was singing something else, but when she did her heart skipped a beat. He was singing the song her and Raoul had sang on the roof! He was asking her to love him, to live with him!

Gleefully, she turned around to look him in the eyes. She put her hand up to the side of his face, getting ready to drag him down so she could kiss him. But then she remembered all the people watching, time enough for that later, when they were safe. She let her arm drop, but once again her pesky bracelet spoiled everything. It had gotten caught on the mask string, and when she dropped her arm the mask came with it, revealing his face to the audience.

There were screams from the crowd, the Phantom was looking at her in betrayal, and the pit of Christine's stomach dropped. This was not good…

That was the last thought she had time for before the Phantom's arm shot out and grabbed her, crushing her to his chest. His other arm slashed something with his sword, causing screams from the audience, and then hit something else. Suddenly, they were plummeting…


	2. In Which Christine Loses Both Her Breath...

A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed: you guys are the best, you really made my day. Okay, I got to warn you about this chapter though. The last pretty much stuck to the movie, but this one definitely doesn't. I hope you think it's as funny as the last one.

**Chapter Two: In Which Christine Loses Both Her Breath and Her Temper**

To recap: they were plummeting.

Christine shrieked and clutched at the Phantom. He was going to kill them both! Just because she had ripped away his mask, thus revealing his hideously disfigured face to the elite of Paris and betraying him to her noble suitor and the police, was no reason for him to kill them both!

Then, inexplicably, they were in a stone corridor in the cellar. Christine was not sure how they had gotten there without breaking their legs, smashing their heads, or at least spraining their ankles. She must have blacked out or something.

But she didn't have much time to think about that, because the Phantom had grabbed her wrist and was pulling her along. They were going quite fast, and Christine began gasping for breath. Besides being disoriented, her corset didn't allow for this kind of strenuous exercise. She tried to pull her wrist away, but he was too strong.

Finally they reached his lair via a different passage than the one they normally used. _At least this one didn't go through the lake_, Christine thought. She was absolutely certain being dragged at breakneck speed through water in a corset would have killed her. He stopped and she took the opportunity to kick him sharply in the ankle. He gasped and let go of her wrist; she slumped against the wall, trying to catch her breath. The Phantom spun to face her, clearly incensed, "Why?"

After a few wheezing false starts, she managed to answer, "Why did I kick you in the ankle, or why did I rip off your mask?"

He paused, and then said, "Both."

She held up her wrist. The mask was still dangling from it. "I didn't rip it off on purpose. It got caught on this stupid bracelet. I _was_ going to kiss you."

He deflated a bit, "Oh. But what about the ankle?"

She had caught her breath, so she pushed away from the wall, "You drop me two stories off a stage and drag me willy-nilly down here! First I about have a heart attack and then I can't breathe! You deserve a black eye!"

Now he looked disconcerted. Then a thought occurred to him, "You were going to _kiss_ me? What about Raoul? What about the trap you two cooked up between you?"

"The trap was all Raoul's great idea," they both snorted at this description of the plan before she continued, "And Raoul and me? Ancient history. _You_ are my choice. Now," she leaned towards him, "I'm going to go change into this lovely wedding dress you got me, my costume is rather torn."

She collected the dress and went off to change. When she came back the Phantom was pacing back and forth, running a hand through his hair. He stopped at the sight of her, "Christine, are you sure about this? Can you bear to live with an eternity of this," he gestured towards his face, "before your eyes?"

Great, the Phantom of the Opera was getting cold feet. What the man didn't realize was that the deformity only covered half his face. The other half was the epitome of manly sexiness, and there was certainly nothing wrong with his body! Christine's eyes began to glaze over at the thought of getting to look at him everyday for the rest of her life.

But before she could become coherent enough to reassure him, there was a noise from the lake. It was Raoul, looking thoroughly wet and miserable as he splashed through the water.

"Raoul!" Christine gasped.

The Phantom grabbed her arm, "So this is your game, Christine. You sought to delay me until your lover came to your rescue!"

Christine stuttered, "No! I—"

The Phantom's grip tightened, "It was all a lie, wasn't it? You never were going to choose me!"

Christine frantically tried to repair the situation, "No! I didn't want him to come!"

From behind the grate, Raoul yelled, "Let her go, you monster!"

Christine whirled on him, "You aren't helping any!" Then an idea occurred to her, "I mean… Alas! Raoul, it is too dangerous for you to save me. You might be killed, and then my soul would pine forever! You should leave. Now."

Unfortunately, Raoul was much too gallant to listen to her ploy. To Christine's dismay, he continued to yell, "No, Christine! I will rescue you! Phantom let her go!"

Even more to her dismay, the Phantom seemed to think that her speech meant that she really wanted to go with Raoul. He was scowling at her, and there was a gleam in his eye that she didn't like. This was confirmed when he shoved her away and pulled the lever that raised the grate. Raoul entered warily, and the grate lowered behind him again.

Alarm bells began to go off in her head as the Phantom stalked towards Raoul. Definitely not good.

"Wait," Christine called, but it was too late. The Phantom had Raoul tied to the grate with a noose around his neck before Raoul could react.

The Phantom turned towards her, "So here is your choice, my dear. Stay with me forever, or leave and I'll kill him."

Raoul gasped out, "NO, Christine! Forgive me, please forgive me. I was just trying to save you."

Beside him the Phantom continued to threaten both of them. Christine shook her head as she listened to them continue to shout, neither one paying the slightest bit of attention to each other, or her for that matter. She massaged her forehead. "Why are you doing this to me?" she muttered.

In front of her, Raoul had finally shut up, and the Phantom finished with, "So either way you choose you cannot win!"

Christine's head jerked up, _what was he talking about?_ This seemed like a _win-win_ situation to her. Either she picked the man she wanted to pick in the first place, or she could pretend not to want him, let him strangle Raoul, then change her mind and pick him anyway. After all, if Raoul escaped he would certainly return with reinforcements…

Christine shook her head; she was beginning to think as crazy as them! Maybe the air in this lair encouraged theatrics… She glared at the two men before her. They were both staring at her, waiting for her to decide. "You bloody idiots," she muttered.

The Phantom's face hardened, "You try my patience, make your choice!" To demonstrate, he tugged on the rope, causing Raoul to choke and turn purple.

Christine sighed, if the Phantom felt he had to force her choose him, he wouldn't believe she wanted to stay with him anyway. She would have to show him then.

Squaring her shoulders in determination and lifting her skirts so she wouldn't trip, Christine entered the lake and walked towards the Phantom. She noticed for the first time that his coat had vanished and that, for some reason, his shirt was unbuttoned almost to his waist. He certainly looked attractive, despite his general dishevelment and unmasked state. As she got closer she noticed that he was extremely tense.

Hardly pausing, Christine threw herself against his chest, wrapping her arms around his neck, and sending him toppling back into the lake, her on top of him.

He sat up, sputtering, "What are you doing?"

"I told you before, I'm trying to kiss you."

"So you have to _tackle _me?"

She straightened indignantly, releasing his neck, "I was not tackling you! I was throwing myself into your arms. You were supposed to catch me!"

"Well if you'd give me some warning next time—" but before he got any farther Christine wrapped her arms around his neck again and kissed him hard on the lips. His arms came around her, and they both tumbled back into the water.

This time they both came up sputtering. The Phantom looked at her in wonder, "Christine, what… does this mean…" He came to a stop, unable to continue.

Christine hugged him tighter, "It means I'm staying with you. You asked me to choose, and I did!"

But before anything else could happen, Christine heard Raoul yelling, "Christine! You can't be serious!"

She replying without looking at him, "I'm serious Raoul. There is nothing between you and me. Now go away!" Then she returned to the serious business of kissing the Phantom.

"Christine!"

Really irritated now, Christine snapped, "What!"

"I—uh—I can't leave. I'm still tied to this bloody grate!"

Christine sighed, she had forgotten that detail, and reluctantly got up. The Phantom seemed almost dazed, and didn't move. She walked over to Raoul, "If I untie you, you'll leave?"

"He didn't answer, and she glared at him. Finally he mumbled, "Yes."

"And you won't come back?"

"Alright."

"And you won't tell anyone else where we are, or how to get here?"

Another hesitation, another death glare.

"Fine!"

Satisfied, she untied him and raised the grate. As he was leaving, she called out, "Meg Giry thinks you're really hot!"

He turned around and looked at her incredulously, "What?"

"Meg Giry. She has a crush on you."

He shook his head and turned around, "You're all loony…"

Shrugging, Christine turned back around. The Phantom was standing up, looking at her with gleaming eyes.

Christine walked towards him, "Now, where were we?" She lunged at him again, but this time he caught her and whirled her around in the air. She laughed, "You're learning…"


	3. A Brief, And Somewhat Pointless, Epilogu...

_**A/N: **Thank you everyone who did or will review. Once again I was floored by the response I got- Iwas expecting flames for not being funny or for making Christine too sarcastic. You guys rock._

**A Brief, and Somewhat Pointless, Epilogue Since You Probably Know, Or Can Easily Guess, What Happens Next**

The Phantom and Christine lived happily ever after. They got married and continued to haunt the Opera House, leaving notes signed O.G. and H.W. (Opera Ghost and His Wife). The Phantom said it was pointless to put her name on the notes, but Christine informed him that, as she was his wife and therefore his partner, she wanted half the credit. Needless to say, she continued to sign the notes.

As for the bracelet that caused most of the problems, Christine had it framed because it turned out to be quite lucky indeed.

Christine also refused to let the Phantom go back to wearing his evening clothes, finding that she much preferred him in half-unbuttoned shirts. When he tried to protest this as well, the Phantom found all of his coats had gone missing, as well as half the buttons on all of his shirts. He tried very hard to be angry, but found it impossible to be angry with Christine for very long.

**Fin**

_A/N: This is it for this story, unless I am further inspired, but I doubt that. Thanks for reading, and we'll see when next my muse beats me over the head with an idea._


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